Welcome to the Cracked Planet of Jeff Lindsay

	About Jeff
	Mormon Issues (LDS)
	About Appleton
	Issues in Education
	Hobbies (Magic)
	My Humor Pages
	Other Resources
	Index to JeffLindsay.com
A little cracked, but it's still home!

NEW! To extend my coverage of Appleton, Wisconsin, I've begun the new Appleton, Wisconsin Blog. Your ideas are welcome. I've also begun a "What's New at JeffLindsay.com" page to track significant new additions or updates to my pages. Recently added new pages include photography pages (page 7 and page 6 of my favorite photos, my new page of photos of interesting people, industrial art, plus wedding photos I took in 2004, and other family photos from 2005, even more from 2005, not to mention 2004, 2003 and 2002, and other pages of "artsy" favorite photos). Another recent project has been updating my large (>200 kB) page on DNA and the Book of Mormon.

Sept. 17, 2005 update: Our outstanding local newspaper, the Appleton Post-Crescent, ran a story today about this Website. One correction: the impact of this "monster" on my life is not quite as bad as it sounds. In a typical week, I put in around 10+ hours not just for this site, but also email, photography (mostly for this site), and a blog or two. When work gets intense, a lot of this slides - especially email. Sorry if I haven't answered yours!

A Few Recommended Pages at JeffLindsay.com:

Cracked Planet Humor	LDS Religion	Social Issues	Other
Cracked Planet Shopping Spree The ever-popular Wonder Whacker, AfterGlow radioactive dog collars, and much more!	Mormon Answers A suite of many answers to common questions about those pesky "Mormons" - including utterly facetious questions about Mormons and Mormon beliefs	Public Education Concerns of a parent about trends in public education, with suggestions and recommended resources.	AIChE Forest Products Division The official home page for this sector of the American Inst. of Chemical Engineers.
Planned Unparenthood Troubled by unwanted post-natal fetal matter, the kind that whines and leaves messes everywhere? It's not too late to execute your right to choose. Let Planned Unparenthood show you the way.	Intro to the Book of Mormon Like the Bible, it's an ancient witness for Jesus Christ. Both books have changed my life for good.	The Case Against Block Scheduling It's time to resist this educational fad that helps administrators but puts students at risk academically.	J.L.'s Magic Page Amateur magic - a wonderful hobby. This page reviews some resources, lists some dealers, and offers some ideas to those who are magically inclined.
Stop Smokophobia! While over 10% of Americans have discovered their identities as smokers, they continue to be persecuted by non-smokers. If you think smoking "causes" cancer or fires, you've got smokophobia. But a puff of tolerance from this breathtaking page can help.	The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints My unofficial page on the Christian church that is often nicknamed "Mormon." In my opinion, it's a marvelous way to find joy and meaning in life.	Tragedy of the Hmong Who are the many Hmong people in the United States and how did they get here? Most Americans don't know. Their tragic story needs to be told.	Magic with Paper Some ideas on magic tricks that can be done with paper. This resource is intended for magicians or those serious about learning magic.
Politically Correct Physics Course offerings from the Scientific and Technical University for Politically Intelligent Development. Enjoy science without any fear of being contaminated with the intolerant views of "old-fashioned science." Avoid homework, too!	Evidences for the Book of Mormon Our critics laugh at the book and dismiss it out of hand, but they may be overlooking possible evidence supporting the authenticity of this ancient text.	National Lawn Care Now! O.K., so it's a humor page, probably my favorite - but it's aimed at exposing the follies of the creeping socialism that is sinking roots into American turf. Thus, it qualifies as a "social issues" page.	Overpopulation? The problem isn't too many people, but too many dictators. Find out what the evidence shows about scarcity and population. Think: who really benefits from population control?

Search WWW Search jefflindsay.com

Breaking News: Weapons of Mass Reduction Found! US troops finally found what they were look for - or something close enough - with today's discovery of a vast storehouse of weapons of mass reduction. Not weapons of mass destruction, but mass reduction. (Do you know the difference? Your life could depend on it.) Read details here.

JeffLindsay.com is your personal, on-line Mental Health Prevention Clinic. And we're just crazy enough to think that EVERYBODY should have access to this kind of care. Why? Because the loss of a mind is something worth fighting for. And that's been proven by researchers at the ultimate American corporation, Pointless, Inc. So let's start with your personal diagnosis:

Are you suffering from depression and poor self-esteem due to an unattractive lawn around your home? Hey, it's not your fault. And there is a cure: National Lawn Care Now!. Join us in this very green grass-roots project that can mow down injustice and plant seeds of hope for millions. And if you're suffering from insecurity and anxiety, relax - the new Federal Homeyard Security Program, assisted by National Lawn Care Now!, will help make you and your lawn more secure than ever.

Are you burdened by unwanted post-natal fetal matter that is so unviable that you have to feed it every day AND do its laundry AND drive it around to soccer games or school concerts? Hey, choice doesn't end at birth. Let Planned Unparenthood help you correct your wrong choices from the past with exciting new choices today.

New Photography Pages I've added a number of new photography pages and many new images to old pages. For example, I've got a new page of recent favorites, as well as attempts at industrial art and a new page of photos of interesting people, along with many new photos of Appleton, Wisconsin (start with page 12 of my Appleton photos).

Are you drawn by the appeal of pagan worship rituals? Or has your life been so sheltered that you wouldn't recognize a pagan rite if you saw one? In any case, your mental health may very well depend on understanding the implications of a fascinating new discovery about ancient pagan practices. Read the breaking story first reported here, "Ancient Shrine to Baal Discovered near Tel-Aviv." Hint: Some things never change.

Does the very thought of getting on an airplane fill you with more dread than yet another manual recount of presidential votes? Thousands suffer from fear of flying, but the Cracked Planet now offers help in the form of proven Relaxation Tips for Air Travel - tips which are guaranteed to change the way to think about air travel forever. There are so many things that you won't need to worry about after reading my tips, including the risk of head lice, fertility loss, food poisoning, and terrorists attacks. These things are UNLIKELY to affect you, so relax and enjoy that flight. (Did that cracking sound come from a wing? Probably not. Relax.)

Even though we are years beyond 2000, do you suffer from recurring panic attacks due to all the uninformed hysteria about the once-dreaded Y2K Bug? We've got the cure. Thanks to the Cracked Planet, now you can learn the truth about the a related past disaster, the Minus Y2K Bug that toppled ancient Egypt. Once you know the facts, you can enjoy healthy INFORMED HYSTERIA, no matter what year it is.

Do you suffer from the mental illness known as SMOKOPHOBIA? My Anti-Smokophobia Page will cure you of your ignorance and help you become more accepting of those who are oriented toward smoking. Please don't be bigoted by blaming smokers for problems like forest fires and hotel fires! There are lots of non-smokers who also throw burning objects out the window or go to sleep with smoldering objects. Let's be fair.

Are you a compulsive shopper? Spend cash foolishly? Good news! You'll love the Cracked Planet Shopping Spree, featuring hot products from our slightly warped corporate sponsors! But don't worry! In spite of having a few commercial sponsors, the Cracked Planet remains committed to total integrity and truth at any price - preferably in cash.

More good news! The Cracked Planet team (o.k., it's just me) has developed the ultimate plan to Stop World Hunger! And all it takes is just a few grains of rice and a moment of your time. Act now.

And if you've noticed that I like to write, you won't be surprised to see that I'm working on several books bound to be best-sellers, including Chicken Soup for the Death Row Inmate's Soul and Chicken Soup for the Independent Prosecutor's Soul. Sadly, I had to burn my nearly completed Chicken Soup for the Lawyer's Soul after research revealed that lawyers have no soul.

Though there are a few more pages with attempted humor hidden on my site, most of my offerings for enhanced insanity are listed here:

Note: Unlike other home pages, the opinions on this page have been checked for accuracy. (They may be completely idiotic, but at least they've been checked.) In addition, these opinions have been independently certified as "at least 99% genuine" and "over 99% authentic" (both within a statistical error margin of plus or minus 3%) by the dedicated experts at Pointless, Inc.

The Heavy (not Dark) Side of the Cracked Planet

Religion and philosophy

I am very serious about the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ as found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and have written much about evidences, doctrines, beliefs, and so forth. I especially recommend the Book of Mormon, which is why I am an active member of this Church.

Science and research

New addition: a Web page on some of my work with an exciting new recursive function that I call the "two-dimensional factorial." It was derived in obtaining an improved solution to a classical probability problem. You can read this work as a Web page or as a Word document (200 k). Also look at my new publication from K-C on the use of computerized tools for market research, "The Historic Use of Computerized Tools for Marketing and Market Research: A Brief Survey."

International, multicultural, Hmong

I've been especially happy to be involved with the Hmong people and also the Oneida tribe of Wisconsin.

Education

Demand excellence and refuse fads! If kids aren't learning, they probably aren't being taught - at least not with proven methods. Parents, pay attention!

Magic (the performing art)

Miscellaneous

Such as the popular Appleton page about my amazing town.

Of course, the campaign for the separation of sports and state may be my most important cause of all. This is a crucial matter in Wisconsin, where Packer fans have insinuated themselves into all levels of society, bringing the influence of their athletic affiliation with them. Just think: how can a Packer fan serving as a judge remain impartial when sentencing a Bears fan? Can you imagine a Viking fan getting a fair trial in front of a jury who were all wearing cheesehead hats? They hats may be hidden during the trial, but the cheesehead views are still there. The Packerocracy in Wisconsin and sportsocracy everywhere must be stopped. Taking a cue from the ACLU and others, the only way to have true separation of sports and state is to essentially ban all expressions of sports from society. Plus we need to get the sports section shrunk to about 1 column per week in the back of the newspaper. Then we will be free at last! Stay tuned for more information.

Things You Really Ought to Know!

• The Unfolding FTAA Battle: William Jasper explains why the mislabeled "Free Trade Area of the Americas" is serious threat to American liberty that will erode American sovereignty, ultimately give foreign officials regulatory power over many aspects of American life, and result in more lost jobs. Urgent appeal: It is time for Americans to speak out and help Stop the FTAA. Also see Hasper's article, "Your Job May Be Next!."
• Exporting US Jobs - collection of information about the efforts of America's leaders to drive economic growth overseas at America's expense.
• Vaccines Fueling Autism Epidemic? - A recent report shows that U.S. infants are exposed to mercury through vaccinations at levels way beyond EPA and FDA limits, and raises the question about links to autism.
• Abortion Greatly Increases the Risk of Breast Cancer - a vital fact that every woman should know. (Also see the information at AbortionFacts.com and the writings of Dr. Joel Brind on the link between abortion and cancer.)
• Justice Dept. Drafts Sweeping Expansion of Anti-Terrorism Act - the "Patriot II" Act could wipe out many of our remaining Constitutional liberties if the Bush Administration is left unchecked. See also Ann Coulter's 2003 article,We'll Let You Know When You're Being Censored.
• Boy Scouts Discriminated against as Judges in California
• Federal Officials Had Prior Knowledge of the Sept. 11 Attack
• More than One Explosion at Oklahoma City
• Planned Parenthood: A Vile Organization Supporting Child Abuse - one of my snippets pages.
• Forced Repatriation of the Hmong by the United Nations - an excellent article from WorldNet Daily. Also see my page on the Tragedy of the Hmong People.
• New government report shows that condoms do not protect against most STDs - yet the media and Planned Parenthood continue their misinformation.
• How did Dean Kamen, the guy who invented the Segway Human Transporter, so thoroughly impress your Webmaster in a recent encounter?

By the way...

Honorable mention?

In April 2001, JeffLindsay.com was listed as the sole "Cool Site" link on the home page of National Review Online (one of the nation's leading magazines about politics and news). The link they provided took readers to my National Lawn Care Now! page, reflecting the deep-rooted environmental consciousness of their editors. Thank you!

The 2001-2002 Golden Globe Award from the International Association of Webmasters and Designers was awarded to JeffLindsay.com on April 10, 2001.

My site has been honored by Brittanica.com because, as they said in a message of Jan. 31, 2000, "our editors have selected your site as one of the best on the Internet when reviewed for quality, accuracy of content, presentation and usability." Hey, who am I to argue? (I believe the award was for my block scheduling page.)

Several individual pages or groups of pages have received awards. For example, my National Lawn Care Now! page was a USA Today Hot Site.

FamousMormons.net recommends this site!

The Fox Cities Newspapers reviewed my site in Aug. 2001, giving it 4.5 out of 5 stars. Thank you, Brian Roebke!

The educators' magazine, Education Week, ran a story on Oct. 3, 2001 discussing my Block Scheduling site. The article, "Changing Times" by Debra Viadero, is also available online. The printed publication includes a photo of yours truly - so stick with the safer online version.

The Cracked Planet was honored by the outstanding Texas Eagle site in June of 1997, apparently for its approach to several conservative issues.

The more religious parts of my site have been honored by Pearls: The Best LDS Web Sites.

One of my pages is a top 5% awardee from Lycos/Point - can you guess which? It's one of my favorites.

And best of all, the Cracked Planet is rated in the TOP 99.9% of all Web sites!

Index to the pages of the Cracked Planet

What's New at JeffLindsay.com