The Pointless House of Quality:
Benefits at Pointless, Inc.!
Benefits at Pointless
Our placebo program is bring remarkable health benefits. Since replacing all medications with placebos, our employees have become a lot healthier. For example, we used to have a lot of diabetics, but now we've got zero! And we no longer have any employees requiring expensive medications for their heart problems. Our employees aren't only healthier on the average, they've become a lot younger, too!
We're also working to help the entire families of our employees. One positive difference we're making is helping youngsters develop a healthy work ethic. By cutting health care benefits for all dependents over age 12, we've encouraged dozens of teenagers to go out and get a job so they can have the medical coverage they need.
Our employees asked for more opportunities to work out while they are out work, and we listened. Now we've instituted special mandatory exercise programs for all our employees. In winter, they each take turns shoveling snow, and in the summer, they get to mow the lawns with push mowers - not only helping their cardovascular fitness, but allowing us to cut several jobs from our grounds and maintenance crew.
Pointless, Inc. has benefits for you, too, if you are lucky enough to join our Corporation. Send in your resume now, and be sure to include the $20 processing fee.
Curator: Jeff Lindsay (the alter ego of David J. Huffenpuff), Contact:
Created: Oct 22, 2004
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