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Photo of David J. Huffenpuff
The Wit and Wisdom of
CEO David J. Huffenpuff!

At Pointless, Inc., you can bet that every employee is darned proud of our CEO, David J. Huffenpuff (it's really true - we even check this during performance reviews). After all, he is the guru of "Revolutionary Business" who came up with the idea of increasing profits by making more money. He is the author of what may well be the new Bible of Corporate America, Try to Make Money: Your Key to Financial Success for the Nineties, which has just been updated as Business Secrets for the Zeroes. While they don't give Nobel Prizes for business, if they did, he'd be a winner for sure.

To let you see why we're so amazed at our CEO, we've compiled some pithy nuggets of wit and wisdom that have flowed from his lips during his tenure at Pointless, Inc. He really came up with these on his own, and comes up with more each day.

Photo of our beloved CEO, David J. Huffenpuff David J. Huffenpuff on striving for success:
"Win at all costs - as long as it doesn't cost too much."
On Corporate leadership:
"If the competition is doing it, we better do it, too. At Pointless, we must lead the way when it comes to following. "
On keeping employees happy:
"Employees value recognition much more than mere cash. This year we'll be giving employees more of what they really value - and less of what they don't."
On planning and goals:
"If you don't have a plan, your plan can't fail!"
On facing adversity:
"That which doesn't destroy me still ticks me off!"
On mental preparation for success:
"Half the battle is realizing that the battle is only half as big as you realized."
On balancing competing objectives:
"Quality first! And profits. Especially stockholder return. Actually, it's safety. Diversity too. And of course, our employees come first. As do customers. That's our top priority. Always."
On preparing for cost savings:
"If only we had hired more people earlier, we would be able to save even more money now through downsizing."
On training and education:
"You can give a man a fish and feed him for one meal, and then he'll become greedy and expect more handouts. Or you can teach a man to fish, and pretty much wreck his marriage, impoverish his family, and stunt his career. Stick with beef."
On optimizing Corporate resources:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you'll lose time and end up paying for the drink. If you care about the bottom line, lead that horse to the glue factory."
On having the right perspective to conquer huge tasks:
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a 999-mile stretch. Get that part done, and then the rest is easy."
On being the best of the best:
"It's not enough to just go from good to great. We're going from great to super-duper!"
(To the best of my knowledge, all quotes are original to Jeff Lindsay and appear in print for the first time on this page.)

Curator: Jeff Lindsay,   Contact:
Created: Feb. 26, 2004

URL: "http://www.jefflindsay.com/pointless/wis.shtml"