"The Force assigned me badge number 239, but later I got to choose my own as a perk for clearing out a gang of zombies from the New York subway system. I love my badge - gives me a real buzz to watch faith healers think about it. A few never got it, though. You might say I lost my patience with them."
"What a shame it was to see the governments own scientists trying to short change the laws of nature. The top dogs said it was all a mistake, just a junior scientist with an unexpected breakthrough. Right. We keep our eye on NASA all the time now. We usually break into the labs and rough people up around holiday times just to keep them honest."
"I wasn't sure what law of nature this violated, but everyone knows camels can't talk. Probably something to do with the Pauli exclusion principle. Anyway, we jailed a sheikh and had to put twelve camels to sleep. What a shock, finding animal rights activists in Saudi Arabia. The locals wouldn't believe that we were French tourists, just shooting up some camels for fun. They just assumed that only Americans would do that kind of thing. I hate stereotypes. The embassy took some heat for a few days, but it boiled over."
Beam back to Jeff Lindsay's planet
