The Cracked Planet Index: The Pages of Jeff Lindsay
What's the link between golf courses and the Marquis de Sade?
The truth will mow you over! Learn more from National Lawn Care Now! A grassroots organization fighting for nationalized lawn care, opposing the Big Lawn Care Companies (BiLCC)--a secret cartel now directed by Sod-dam Hussein.
And find out why President Bush has enlisted NLCN! for his new Homeyard Security program.
JeffLindsay.com used to be known as the Cracked Planet. The site is still cracked in plenty of ways, but one planet just wasn't enough. We're going universal. In any case, don't expect everything here to be down to earth. And if you enjoy any of this and start showing any of the mental symptoms associated with excessive browsing here, people are likely to ask, "What planet are you from?" Tell them you just came from JeffLindsay.com.
My spoof on Corporate America--which is still a great place to visit. Several pages of information about state-of-the-art Corporate systems that make Dilbert look good.
My personal favorite, and one of my most visited pages. A grassroots organization fighting for nationalized lawn care. It's your right! And read the press release about Homeyard Security to find out why Bush has enlisted NLCN! for his Homeland Security program.
The physics curriculum of a nationally acclaimed politically correct university reflects appropriate levels of empowered higher consciousness and a compassionate emphasis on social justice, mingled with physics.
A trendy company offering executive offshoring (finally!). Now you can export the jobs of senior management, even CEOs, overseas! Replace expensive executives with competent, capable employees who are willing to work hard and work well for as little as one dollar a day. Talk about cost savings!! JeffLindsay.com was the first major US corporation to improve its bottom line--and performance!--by offshoring it's CEO. Shouldn't your company be next? Isn't it about time you took a little off the top, too?
New! The power of placebos are now at your fingertips--at low cost and without side effects! Available for numerous purposes, including corporate needs! And each placebo product is very easy to use--there's really nothing to it.
Y2K deja vu! Get informed about the related disaster the toppled ancient Egypt (once just as advanced as we are today) and caused all the plagues that freed the Hebrew slaves. If it happened to Egypt then, it could happen to us.
NEW! Now the Cracked Planet team (O.K., it's just me) has developed the ultimate plan to stop world hunger! And all it takes is just a few grains of rice and a moment of your time. Act now. The life you save could be that of someone who'd rather not die.
Includes ninja pizza delivery--ideal for tough neighborhoods! Also learn how you can become a ninja movie star. (What does Dennis Rodman have to do with this??)
They couldn't cut it as professors, but now they're making the world a safer and more thermodynamic place. (And remember, gravity isn't just a good idea--it's the law.)
What did UN staffers in Iraq really discover when they investigated the alleged chemical weapons factories of Iraq after the Persian Gulf War? The truth has been suppressed--until now.
A free customizable letter to help you save the soul of anybody messed with a "cult"--the word cult being used according to the standard definition of leading countercult ministers (i.e., any form of belief, religious or otherwise, that you do not share).
I'm grateful to the many illegitimate corporate sponsors that make this site possible. (Be sure to order your Wonder Whacker while supplies last.) New: now features Planned Unparenthood, experts in compassion protecting your right to a retroactive abortion (the ultimate in cradle-to-grave care).
A new service of the Cracked Planet Shopping Spree, in association with MegaPlacebos Plus, using non-invasive holistic energy and transcendental meditation to clean silently without disrupting the positive energy flows of your home.
NEW! Another major story first reported by JeffLindsay.com, your total news source for questionable archeology. What is the meaning of the three manifestations of Baal discovered in an ancient Canaanite shrine? Hint: Some things never change.
The official home page of the Forest Products Division of AIChE (the American Institute of Chemical Engineers). It contains some FPD info and a list of good sites related to the forest products. industries (especially pulp and paper).
My newest addition: a Web page on some of my work with an exciting new recursive function that I call the "two-dimensional factorial." It was derived in obtaining an improved solution to a classical probability problem. You can read this work as a Web page or as a Word document (200 k).
A publication I prepared for Kimberly-Clark Corporation dealing with the use of computers in market research. Also available on twoother sites and at IP.com.
Based on my resume, this is the kind of self-congratulatory trivia that turns most stomachs. So skip it. (Oh, I forgot to mention that I was teacher's pet in 3rd grade. Documentary proof available upon request.)
Fairly extensive, with links to many "LDS FAQ" pages. These pages give answers to frequently asked questions about Latter-day Saint beliefs. This is based on my e-mail correspondence with numerous inquirers (and critics). My own views--so beware! This now includes answers to questions about love, marriage, and morality.
A lengthy and heavily documented article (260 kB of text, about 80 pages or so) in my LDSFAQ area dealing with the controversial issue of DNA evidence and the Book of Mormon. Specifically, I address the bogus claim that DNA testing of Native Americans proves that the migrations described in the Book of Mormon did not occur. A PDF version of this article has been posted at the Church's LDS.org Website at http://www.lds.org/newsroom/files/jeff_lindsay_dna.pdf. My article and four others from the November 2003 issue of The Journal of Book of Mormon Studies are available, along with a brief statement, on a "Mistakes in the News""DNA and the Book of Mormon" page.
Surveys some of the vast body of ancient documents that confirm numerous details in the Book of Abraham that are not found in the Bible, and could not have been known to Joseph Smith. This is actually Part 3 of three pages dealing with common questions and objections to the Book of Abraham. Part 1 deals primarily with questions about the source of the Book of Abraham, including a discussion of the original scrolls and the existing papyrus fragments, as well as the Egyptian papers. Part 2 deals with the content of the book and Joseph Smith's comments on three Egyptian drawings that have been attached to the published Book of Abraham.
Deals with interesting internal evidence for authenticity of the Book of Mormon found in 2 Nephi 12, which quotes Isaiah 2. In my research, I found some interesting (but still tentative) examples of what appear to be an authentic Hebrew poetical form in the Book of Mormon known to scholars as "paired tricola"--a form unrecognized in Joseph Smith's day. Take a look and let me know your thoughts. Posted July 1, 2001.
A new LDSFAQ page answering common questions about dating, marrying in or out of the Church, morality, and so forth. These topics have resulted in many questions recently--often from non-LDS people dating Mormons. I hope this page will help. Expect many more answers to be added soon.
This page deals with the rather sloppy but widely circulated statements made by a department at the Smithsonian Institution--but made without the benefit of adequate knowledge of either Mesoamerica or the Book of Mormon. The Smithsonian Statement is embarrassingly out of date and needs significant revision. Many issues are covered, including transoceanic voyaging and allegedly missing items such as silk.
One of the most poetic Book of Mormon passages (I refer to Semitic poetical forms), this passage is one of the best examples of chiasmus in all of ancient literature.
Text of the 1833 revelation to Joseph Smith forbidding the use of tobacco, alcohol, tea, and coffee, and providing nutritional guidelines with an emphasis on grains.
My opinions--but based on factual foundations (in my opinion, anyway). These opinions are not necessarily those of Carl Sagan, Madonna, Bill Clinton, or Rush Limbaugh, but give them time....
Perhaps my most heavily used Web page--certainly in the top 5. THis has been a resource to school districts all over the country in better understanding the downside to a popular educational fad.
Hard data show the folly of this popular fad--replacing current high school schedules with fewer, longer class periods. Updated regularly. This page grew so large that it has been split into five parts (the link above is for Part 1). There is also an additional page giving my response to critics of Dr. Bateson's studies and of my page.
My page, based on a research review by Dr. Jeffrey M. Jones. Includes a discussion of Project Follow Through, the largest educational study ever. We can't afford to ignore the results of that study.
A parody page I created about a support group to encourage secondary education teachers to keep on using COLLAGE as an all-purpose educational tool. ACNE is a fictitious organization, but the concerns behind it are real--though overblown. The prevalence of collage for homework assignments and class projects in high school is one of the smaller problems in the world of education--but I still had fun with this page. Be sure to check out the real collage there, too.
By the way, you may wish to see my Mormon blog ("Mormanity"). I'm also trying out a couple of blogs for political, social, and educational issues. The first is called Sanity Defense and the other is a live journal also called Sanity Defense.
Your privacy is important to me. Email sent to Jeff Lindsay will not be used for commercial purposes. I don't sell email and do not collect personal information about visitors to this site. This site is the personal and original work of Jeff Lindsay.
Curator: Jeff Lindsay , Contact: Last Updated: June 6, 2005 URL: "http://www.jefflindsay.com/MyPages.shtml"
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