They Don’t Use Toilet Paper: Why We Must Oppose Terrorists

Most American sympathizers of Osama Bin Laden and his gang of terrorists – you know, New York Times writers and their ilk – have overlooked one of the main reasons why we must oppose terrorists. This guys are so low, so filthy, so depraved, that they don’t even use toilet paper. Are those the kind of people we should have standing before the United Nations, a la Yassar Arafat, pretending to be respectable revolutionaries? Can we afford to let one more petrodollar end up in their unwashed hands, only to end up circulating in our restaurants and cafeterias?

Inventories of seized terrorist supplies have been published. Never has a single roll of toilet paper been reported in their supplies. It’s clear that terrorism cannot be allowed to continue if we are to have a civilized and hygienic world.

By | 2016-10-24T05:58:02+00:00 August 28th, 2006|Categories: Satire|Comments Off on They Don’t Use Toilet Paper: Why We Must Oppose Terrorists

About the Author:

Jeff Lindsay, the Sheik of Shake Well, is an ordinary guy posing as another ordinary guy formerly from Appleton, Wisconsin, now living in Shanghai, China.