Sitemap: Planetary Guide to the Cracked Planet of

Site Map for the Cracked Planet of Jeff Lindsay used to be known as The Cracked Planet. The site is still cracked in plenty of ways, but one planet just wasn't enough. We're going universal. In any case, don't expect everything here to be down to earth. And if you enjoy any of this and start showing any of the mental symptoms associated with excessive browsing here, people are likely to ask, "What planet are you from?" Tell them you just came from

What's the link between golf courses and the Marquis de Sade?

The truth will mow you over! Learn more from National Lawn Care Now! A grassroots organization fighting for nationalized lawn care, opposing the Big Lawn Care Companies (BiLCC)--a secret cartel now directed by Sod-dam Hussein.

And find out why President Bush enlisted NLCN! for his new Homeyard Security program.

Categories (links within this document)

Search + my blogs


Photography Pages
The Hmong in Wisconsin
Favorite Photos
(7 pages)
Friends and Strangers
(miscellaneous people)
(6 pages)
(12 pages)
The Hmong
(my photo album)


Planned Unparenthood
An organization dedicated to protecting your right to choose by terminating unwanted post-natal fetuses.
National Lawn Care Now!
One of my most visited pages. A grassroots organization fighting for nationalized lawn care. It's your right! And read the press release about Homeyard Security to find out why Bush has enlisted NLCN! for his Homeland Security program.
Politically Correct Physics
The physics curriculum of a nationally acclaimed politically correct university reflects appropriate levels of empowered higher consciousness and a compassionate emphasis on social justice, mingled with physics.
Off the Top, Inc.
A trendy company offering executive offshoring (finally!). Now you can export the jobs of senior management, even CEOs, overseas! Replace expensive executives with competent, capable employees who are willing to work hard and work well for as little as one dollar a day. Talk about cost savings!! was the first major US corporation to improve its bottom line--and performance!--by offshoring it's CEO. Shouldn't your company be next? Isn't it about time you took a little off the top, too?
MegaPlacebos Plus
New! The power of placebos are now at your fingertips--at low cost and without side effects! Available for numerous purposes, including corporate needs! And each placebo product is very easy to use--there's really nothing to it.
The Minus Y2K Bug
Y2K deja vu! It's old, but just as useless as it was in 1999 as the world braced for the end of all civilization at the dawn of a new millenmium of chaos. (Turns out there was nothing to worry about - total chaos and the end of sanity was a full 10 years away.) My Minus Y2K page helps keep you informed by reviewing the related disaster that toppled ancient Egypt (once just as advanced as we are today) and caused all the plagues that freed the Hebrew slaves. If it happened to Egypt then, it could happen to us. And maybe that's not so bad after all.
The Cracked Planet Plan to Stop World Hunger
NEW! Now the Cracked Planet team (O.K., it's just me) has developed the ultimate plan to stop world hunger! And all it takes is just a few grains of rice and a moment of your time. Act now. The life you save could be that of someone who'd rather not die.
Commercial Ninja Services
Includes ninja pizza delivery--ideal for tough neighborhoods! Also learn how you can become a ninja movie star. (What does Dennis Rodman have to do with this??)
American Collage Network for Educators (ACNE)
A parody page.
Relax! Air Travel Is Safer and More Convenient Than You Think!
From headlice to structural disintegration to terrorist attacks, the dangers of airplane travel might not be as great as you think. Here are some tips to help you relax and enjoy your flight.
The Citizens Union for Safe Smoking
Forget safe sex--safe smoking education will save many more lives.
The Higher Institute for Safe Shooting
Mormon Oddities: The Facetious Corner of LDSFAQ
Sometimes the questions I get from critics of Latter-day Saints are downright silly. Other times the question is good but I'm not quite serious. In either case, the result is fodder for the Facetious Corner of my LDSFAQ site-- Frequently Asked Questions about Mormons and Mormon (Latter-day Saint) Beliefs."
One Day in the Life of Joseph Smith, Translator Extraordinaire of the Book of Mormon
My satirical script for a skit dealing with allegations that Joseph Smith plagiarized from numerous sources in preparing the Book of Mormon.
Sci-Cops: Enforcing the Laws of Nature!
They couldn't cut it as professors, but now they're making the world a safer and more thermodynamic place. (And remember, gravity isn't just a good idea--it's the law.)
Sci-Cops: The Problem with Magicians
Sci-Cops and the Case of the Time-Traveling Lawyers
Sci-Cops: The Case of the Missing Programmer
A mega-conspiracy is revealed: the secret of software evolution! First release: Dec. 1996.
Sci-Cops: The Case of the Healing Needle
Proof that acupuncture can cure crime after all! First release: Dec. 1996.
Sci-Cops Expose the Ultimate Terrorist Threat!
What did UN staffers in Iraq really discover when they investigated the alleged chemical weapons factories of Iraq after the Persian Gulf War? The truth has been suppressed--until now.
Details About the Ultimate Terrorist Threat!
From pink hair dyes to cheesehead hats, subliminal terrorists have been using sinister tools to wage war against the American way.
CultMaster 2000 CD Software
Perhaps you always thought that you were the only true Christian around. Now the CultMaster CD gives you the power to prove it!
CultMaster Free Sample: Letter to a Friend
A free customizable letter to help you save the soul of anybody messed with a "cult"--the word cult being used according to the standard definition of leading countercult ministers (i.e., any form of belief, religious or otherwise, that you do not share).
Astral Ducts, Inc.
A new service of the Cracked Planet Shopping Spree, in association with MegaPlacebos Plus, using non-invasive holistic energy and transcendental meditation to clean silently without disrupting the positive energy flows of your home.
Ancient Shrine to Baal Discovered near Tel-Aviv
NEW! Another major story first reported by, your total news source for questionable archeology. What is the meaning of the three manifestations of Baal discovered in an ancient Canaanite shrine? Hint: Some things never change.

Science and Research
This now the official site of the Forest Bioproducts Division of AIChE (the American Institute of Chemical Engineers). I'm the webmaster.
My pulp and paper page
This used to have the information now found at Now it's mostly a list of good sites related to the forest products industriesespeciall, especially pulp and paper.
My past research at IPST
Brief overview of my work from 1987 to 1994.
The Two-Dimensional Factorial
A web page on some of my work with an exciting new recursive function that I call the "two-dimensional factorial." It was derived in obtaining an improved solution to a classical probability problem. You can read this work as a web page or as a Word document (200 k). This was puoblished in a peer-reviewed journal, the Mathematical Scientist.
The Historic Use of Computerized Tools for Marketing and Market Research: A Brief Survey
A publication I prepared for Kimberly-Clark Corporation dealing with the use of computers in market research.
Retail RFID Systems without Smart Shelves
One of several papers I wrote on radiofrequency identification (RFID) technology that were first published at Added Jan. 2004 to this Website.
RFID Locating Systems for Linking Valued Objects with Multimedia Files
Cascading RFID Tags
RFID Systems for Enhanced Shopping Experiences
High-bulk Tissue Laminates for Building Materials and Other Purposes
A paper first published at on new uses for K-C's uncreped tissue materials and other high-bulk tissue webs.
Systems for Managing Mobile Production Resources (Mini-mills)
A paper describing a business method for managing multiple relocatable mills to optimize production.
The Cutting Edge of Science
Attempted humorous commentary on current issues in science. Began March 1, 2003.
My encounter with Dean Kamen
Something interesting that I observed when I met Dean Kamen, a world-famous inventor, during a convention in Chicago in 2002.
Comments on so-called design flaws in nature
Great Quotes from Great Skeptics
One of my pages. Blind skepticism or blind faith--both go poorly with plaid.
My professional background and publications
Based on my resume, this is the kind of self-congratulatory trivia that turns most stomachs. So skip it. (Oh, I forgot to mention that I was teacher's pet in 3rd grade. Documentary proof available upon request.)

My Hobby: Magic

My magic page
Some of my tricks, views, book reviews, and other magical links
Magic with paper--favorite tricks
Magicians--the bane of Sci-Cops
Spoofy stuff.
Lance Pierce's "Quoth the Maven..."
A page with Lance's hilarious poem for magicians--used with his permission!

LDS Religion and Philosophy

LDS Web Pages
A list including most of my pages plus many of my favorites from the rest of cyberspace. Also a brief review of a few of my favorite recent LDS books.
Introduction to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("Mormon Church")
Evidences for the Book of Mormon
A large and widely used page, frequently updated. One of my most important works, IMHO.
Book of Mormon Nuggets
A collection of short articles dealing with further details of Book of Mormon evidences.
Introduction to the Book of Mormon
Mormon Answers (LDS FAQ) - Common Questions about Mormons and Mormon Belief
Fairly extensive, with links to many "LDS FAQ" pages. These pages give answers to frequently asked questions about Latter-day Saint beliefs. This is based on my e-mail correspondence with numerous inquirers (and critics). My own views--so beware! This now includes answers to questions about love, marriage, and morality.
Questions about Science and Mormon Doctrine
One Day in the Life of Joseph Smith, Translator Extraordinaire of the Book of Mormon
My satirical script for a skit dealing with allegations that Joseph Smith plagiarized from numerous sources in preparing the Book of Mormon.
Was the Book of Mormon Plagiarized from Modern Writings?
A detailed discussion of many allegations made against the Book of Mormon. A related satirical page is "Was the Book of Mormon Plagiarized from Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass?"
Book of Mormon Problems #4: Biblical Scholarship (e.g., Documentary Hypothesis) versus the Book of Mormon?
Examines some apparent clashes between modern biblical scholarship and the Book of Mormon, such as the notion that the Exodus theme woven into Nephi's account is anachronistic because modern scholars think the Exodus story was a late fabrication that someone like Nephi could not have alluded to in 600 B.C. Also looks at the problem of Nephi citing passages of Isaiah that many scholars think were written long after 600 B.C. by "Deutero-Isaiah."
My Turn
Tough questions I'd like to ask of LDS critics for a change.
Does DNA Evidence Refute the Book of Mormon?
A lengthy and heavily documented article (260 kB of text, about 80 pages or so) in my LDSFAQ area dealing with the controversial issue of DNA evidence and the Book of Mormon. Specifically, I address the bogus claim that DNA testing of Native Americans proves that the migrations described in the Book of Mormon did not occur. A PDF version of this article has been posted at the Church's newsroom website (archived).
The LDS Perspective on Adam and the Fall
Did Adam thwart God's plan? Is this mortal life of ours just a mistake? What is the nature of the Fall and the need for the Messiah, Jesus Christ?
Ancient Records Offer New Support for the Book of Abraham--New!
Surveys some of the vast body of ancient documents that confirm numerous details in the Book of Abraham that are not found in the Bible, and could not have been known to Joseph Smith. This is actually Part 3 of three pages dealing with common questions and objections to the Book of Abraham. Part 1 deals primarily with questions about the source of the Book of Abraham, including a discussion of the original scrolls and the existing papyrus fragments, as well as the Egyptian papers. Part 2 deals with the content of the book and Joseph Smith's comments on three Egyptian drawings that have been attached to the published Book of Abraham.
2 Nephi 12 and the Septuagint: Evidence for Fraud or Authenticity in the Book of Mormon?
Deals with interesting internal evidence for authenticity of the Book of Mormon found in 2 Nephi 12, which quotes Isaiah 2. In my research, I found some interesting (but still tentative) examples of what appear to be an authentic Hebrew poetical form in the Book of Mormon known to scholars as "paired tricola"--a form unrecognized in Joseph Smith's day. Take a look and let me know your thoughts. Posted July 1, 2001.
Love, Dating, Marriage, and Morality
A new LDSFAQ page answering common questions about dating, marrying in or out of the Church, morality, and so forth. These topics have resulted in many questions recently--often from non-LDS people dating Mormons. I hope this page will help. Expect many more answers to be added soon.
Mercy and Justice in the Book of Mormon: Ancient or Modern Concepts?
My response to critics who assert that the profound discourse on justice and mercy in the Book of Mormon is too modern for an ancient Semitic text.
Latter-day Saints and the Covenant Framework of the Gospel: An Ancient Perspective Restored
A page that compares the solid covenant-based theology of the restored Church of Jesus Christ with that of early Christianity and Judaism.
Chiasmus in the Book of Mormon
Critics can't explain this one away!
The Book of Mormon and Metal Plates
Powerful modern evidence for the authenticity of the Book of Mormon.
Response to the Smithsonian Institution's 1996 Statement Regarding the Book of Mormon
This page deals with the rather sloppy but widely circulated statements made by a department at the Smithsonian Institution--but made without the benefit of adequate knowledge of either Mesoamerica or the Book of Mormon. The Smithsonian Statement is embarrassingly out of date and needs significant revision. Many issues are covered, including transoceanic voyaging and allegedly missing items such as silk.
The Book of Mormon Challenge
Is the book a fraud? What would be involved in pulling off such a fraud? Find out yourself with this simple test, if you're brave.
Is the Book of Mormon a fraud?
Interesting passages from the works of Hugh Nibley.
Latter-day Saints in Early Wisconsin
Some historical information about early "Mormons" who helped settle Wisconsin.
The relationship between faith, works and salvation
Are Biblical and LDS views compatible? (Happy to get critiques on this document!) Updated Dec. 1996.
List of key scriptures on faith and works
A supplement for my document above.
Religious Implications of the Placebo Effect
My talk on entropy and constancy
The Word of Wisdom--The LDS Health Code
Text of the 1833 revelation to Joseph Smith forbidding the use of tobacco, alcohol, tea, and coffee, and providing nutritional guidelines with an emphasis on grains.

Controversy and opinion

My opinions--but based on factual foundations (in my opinion, anyway). These opinions are not necessarily those of Carl Sagan, Madonna, Bill Clinton, or Rush Limbaugh, but give them time....

My Father's Story: Betrayed by the United Nations in the Korean War
A lesson in modern warfare and a warning for today.
The Problem with Block Scheduling
Perhaps my most heavily used Web page--certainly in the top 5. THis has been a resource to school districts all over the country in better understanding the downside to a popular educational fad.
Outrageous: the Court Martial of Michael New
The Bursting of the Big Bang Theory?
The Myth of the Overpopulation Crisis
Concerns about Trends in Public Education

International, multicultural, Hmong

Surviving in China, offering my tips for others coming to the People's Republic of China, and especially those coming to Shanghai. A work in progress.
Tragedy of the Hmong People
Includes background, information on the Hmong language, and results of a Dec. 1997 study showing that Hmong children are excelling in school.
Why the Hmong Are in America, an article from FutureHmong magazine by J. Lindsay, June 2002. Archived version is available at
Forced Repatriation of the Hmong
The Oneida Indian Tribe of Wisconsin
My page of tribute. An Oneida reservation is near my town of Appleton, Wisconsin.


Public education--some concerns
Public education can be wonderful, but parents should not be blind to some of the problems.
The Problem with Block Scheduling
Hard data show the folly of this popular fad--replacing current high school schedules with fewer, longer class periods. Updated regularly. This page grew so large that it has been split into five parts (the link above is for Part 1). There is also an additional page giving my response to critics of Dr. Bateson's studies and of my page.
What the Data Really Show: Direct Instruction is Best
My page, based on a research review by Dr. Jeffrey M. Jones. Includes a discussion of Project Follow Through, the largest educational study ever. We can't afford to ignore the results of that study.
American Collage Network for Educators (ACNE)
A parody page I created about a support group to encourage secondary education teachers to keep on using COLLAGE as an all-purpose educational tool. ACNE is a fictitious organization, but the concerns behind it are real--though overblown. The prevalence of collage for homework assignments and class projects in high school is one of the smaller problems in the world of education--but I still had fun with this page. Be sure to check out the real collage there, too.

Photography and Miscellaneous

Appleton, Wisconsin--my town!
Appleton Photography
Actually, I have quite a few pages of photographs from the Appleton area: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4 (Winter Scenes in Appleton), Page 5 (the 2004 Flag Day Parade), Page 6 (Houdini Days Festival of Magic, Sept. 2004), Page 7 - Octoberfest 2004, Page 8A - Art in the Park 2004, Page 8B - Art in the Park 2005, Page 9 - More from Appleton 2004, Page 10 - 2004 Christmas Parade, Page 11 - More from Appleton 2005, and Page 12 - Even More from Appleton 2005.
A Consumer's Guide to Appleton, giving my personal views on consumer shopping in the Fox Cities of Wisconsin.
My Collections of Photos
My entry into the realm of digital photography as a hobby began in 2003. Here are some of my offerings:

The 2011-2012 Asian Collection
More Galleries

Appleton, WI and the Fox Valley of Wisconsin

I have quite a few pages of photographs from the Appleton area. These include:

Lindsay family photos, including family photos from 2012,2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, 2007 #2, 2006, 2005, 2005 #2, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, 2000, and 1999.
The Autobiography of Talitha Cumi Garlick Avery Cheney, Mormon Pioneer
The story of my great-great grandmother.
Quotes from great skeptics
Poetry of Jeff Lindsay that hasn't been burned--yet.
My haiku for lost pages
On the "missing URL" page that greets you when you try to access a missing page.

Beam back to Jeff Lindsay's planet

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Curator: Jeff Lindsay ,   Contact:
Last Updated: Oct. 25, 2010
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